My Rough draft Of my Cultural Critique :) ... what I have so far

Facebook, a networking cite, originally created for Harvard students, has now become available to students parents and teens. This social apparatus is worth an estimated one billion for twenty three year old, Mark Zukerberg, creator of the site. Facebook has not only taken the world by storm, its ‘lingo’ and specific terminology has become apart of many teens daily discussions. Facebook has become a place where those who have graduated from high school can reconnect, college students can plan study dates, and an environment where causes can be funded and gain awareness. Facebook allows users to share information such as date of birth, relationship status, and online photo albums that feature your latest adventures. Facebook allows users to connect by tagging friends in your photo albums, sending invitations over the web to the newest Facebook event, and the new online chat feature. Facebook is truly advanced in its years, and has taken the world by storm.
Although Facebook may seem like a great device that enables users to connect, there is a flip side that many do not recognize.
Facebook has become so popular with its loose rules, some feel that they have the permission to portray themselves in whichever manner they please.
Our Culture continuously pressures young teens to fit into society’s mold. Young teens are tempted to portray themselves as an image that they cannot possibly obtain. But with the use of Facebook, teens now have an outlet in which they are able to portray themselves more appropriately within our cultural standards. “Like the social networking site itself, the latest Facebook fad appeals because it “lets you present yourself to the world in the way you want people to perceive you,’’ said BJ Fogg, who directs the Persuasive Technology Lab at Stanford University and is writing a book about the psychology of Facebook.” Facebook allows the user permission to add anyone they want. Some teens may feel the need to add as many people as possible in order to appear more popular. Users have the freedom to post pictures as they see fit, as long as they are not violent or seductive. Some may post pictures that are not even of themselves, to create a false identity that is ‘more acceptable’ in today’s culture. Facebook can be used as a great way of communication, but it can also be used as a tool to create an identity that is not yours. Because our culture puts such emphasis on appearance, and superficiality, teens feel that they must become something they are not, and Facebook is where many turn.
Facebook has proven to be a popular means of communication, but now with the fact that many are over emphasizing their popularity, achievements or appearance.
Continuing with apparent problem, we see that according to Jessi Hempel who wrote an article in the journal Fortune entitled How Facebook is taking over our lives talks about the problem we see around Facebook being a venue that many are able to disguise there real identity, or falsely imply their popularity and looks. In the article he sates that “Facebook lets us do all that in digital form. Yet we also present different faces to the different people in our lives: An "anything goes" page we share with pals might not be appropriate for office mates-or for the moms and grandmas who increasingly are joining the site. …Eventually giving a user the ability to have a different Facebook personality for each Facebook friendship." Because of the looseness of these rules, not only are users allowed to portray themselves as a separate identity than their own, but, Facebook fosters the idea of creating ones self in any way they see fit.