social science paper

Roxie Jin

COMM 110

Kevin Schuta

Mar. 20, 2009           

Cohabitation and Maggie

“More men and women are moving in together, sharing an apartment and a bed without getting married first and doing it more openly today” (Waite and Gallagher). Cohabitation becomes a trend in modern society. “The number of unmarried couples living together increased 72% between 1990 and 2000” (U.S. Census Bureau). However, “Within five years from the beginning of a cohabitation relationship more than half of these relationships will end even if the couple had married during that time” (Seltzer). This shows people blindly follow the trend of cohabitation without adequate thinking. As a result, they miss the most beautiful thing of their lives – marriage. Therefore, cohabitation does not help marriage in any way. In fact, it actually hurts the marriage. In other words, cohabitation is not an adequate transitional period for marriage, because cohabitation brings the couple considerable uncertainty. Cohabitation cannot effectively lead to a successful marriage, and cohabitation more likely causes divorce.

Cohabitation brings cohabitants considerable uncertainty. In other words, cohabitation brings them high risk. “Cohabiting couples have an 80%+ chance that their relationship will end. (40% breakup before they marry; the other 40% divorce within 10 years of marrying.)” (“Cohabitation Facts.”). Cohabitation is temporary and unsure. It compels people to love each other hesitantly and not take the responsibility for each other, because no one knows when their cohabiting relationship will end. Therefore, cohabitants cannot have lasting commitment and responsibilities (“Sociology”).

Cohabitation cannot effectively lead to getting married. There are only 30% of cohabiting couples that have been married previously (VanGoethem 183). Firstly, cohabitants lack trust in each other, because they do not have a committed and legal relationship (“Sociology”). Their relationship is based on emotion or on a casual decision. Cohabitants try to be personal in the relationship. They protect their personal space very well. They do not contribute all to the other. Of course they can not receive all from the other. Secondly, cohabitants lack respect to each other (“Sociology”). They both know why they cohabited in their mind. They can save money, prevent loneliness and enjoy having sex. In other words, they both suppose they can get some benefit from each other. They do not have real and pure love, so they cannot entirely respect each other. Moreover, those people who have experience cohabiting usually have more than one sex-partner. This is another reason why cohabitants cannot respect each other emotionally.

Cohabitation more likely causes divorce. According to the research, “Couples who marry after a period of cohabitation are at a 35% to 50% greater risk of separating and/or divorcing than marriages without prior cohabitation” (Seltzer and Teachman). Of couples who previously cohabited, 29% have the likelihood of marital disruption within the first two years of marriage; but only 9% of couples who did not previously cohabit are like this (VanGoethem 184). Firstly, those couples that previously cohabited have lost the curiosity and aspiration for the marital life. Of married couples who previously cohabited, 39% “believe that the likelihood of experiencing a divorce in their relationship is ‘very low’”; but 61% of married couples who did not previously cohabit believe so. (VanGoethem 184). By this we can see that those couples who previously cohabited do not have a very positive attitude. They are even prepared for divorce. The ambivalence of them is a latent danger that may cause future divorce.

To summarize, people should not treat cohabitation as a necessary experience that benefits their future marriage, because cohabitation has too much uncertainty that people can not control. Cohabitation actually cannot bring people the ideal marriage, and cohabitation generates a lot of latent problems that lead to divorce in the future. Even though, it is very popular today for people to cohabit with a girlfriend or a boyfriend, people should clearly understand that cohabitation is a social anomaly.